The Blue Shirt Joe and Juan's Revenge

Once upon a time...there lived an XXL blue shirt named Joe. He lived in the SwipeyX Laundromat in Queensland, Australia. He was super outgoing, so each customer that came in the laundromat got a big greeting from Joe. He would do a big pirate arm swing at each person he met, wink his eye and say, “Keep it clean!” This was because Joe was very particular about being clean all the time. He was so proud of his sky-blue shirt, and the second he saw a stain or fleck of dirt on it, he would jump in the washing machine. Also, Joe had a secret life. Inside the lint tray of the biggest drier lived his secret assistant, Ted the grey sweatshirt. He would open up the lint tray and put in the secret code, 2204. Then the lint tray would open up into a giant slide that curved and spiraled all the way down to their secret lair.

Within the lair they were doing high tech cloning experiments. So far they had cloned 3 billion blue shirts that looked just like Joe. Joe wanted to create a blue shirt army, because he knew that Ted wasn’t really his friend. Ted was actually an undercover spy for Juan the giant squid. Juan’s one goal in life was to get revenge on Joe. The two of them had gone to Fit-in Kid’s preschool together and Joe and Juan were best friends. But that all changed one day when Joe spilled a whole bunch of juice on Juan. Ever since that day, Juan had suffered from the curse of always being dirty and he wanted everybody else to be dirty too, to share in his misery.

One day, Joe was at the park, swinging on a swing, when he looked over and saw Juan swinging next to him. Joe screamed, “Ahhhhh!” Juan squeaked in a sinister squeak, “Long time no see!” Joe was surprised and asked, “What happened to your voice?” Juan squeaked, “Ever since that day in preschool I’ve had a hard life. Every time I go to a job interview, they don’t hire me because it looks like I haven’t done laundry in a long time. I don’t have any money to buy tea and my throat is very sore.” Joe murmured quietly, “That’s weird.” Juan was hurt by Joe’s lack of remorse and started crying, mumbling something to himself that Joe couldn’t hear through the sobs.

Joe started to feel bad. He stopped swinging and said, “I am so, so sorry.” But Juan was so busy crying, he didn’t hear. Joe started to feel very uncomfortable. He never really knew what to say around people when they were crying. At the same time he was also very uncomfortable because Juan was covered with pizza stains, spaghetti stains, nacho cheese stains, and chili stains. Joe was a very clean shirt. As Juan got more and more upset, he got off his swing and stumbled towards Joe, opening his arms for a big hug. Joe shouted, “Back away!” Joe whispered to his sidekick, a horse named Starburst, “Press the blue-shirt army button!” The ground right below where Juan was standing sprang up, and Juan went flying through the air, landing on the slide ten-feet away. In the lair the blue shirts heard the alarm saying, “Ar, Ar, Ar!”

From the 826CHI Student Publication: Compendium Volume VI

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